NaNoWriMo

"You climb a long ladder until you can see over the roof, or over the clouds. You are writing a book. You watch your shod feet step on each round rung, one at a time; you do not hurry and do not rest. Your feet feel the step ladder’s balance; the long muscles in your thigh check its sway. You climb steadily, doing your job in the dark. When you reach the end, there is nothing more to climb. The sun hits you. The bright wideness surprises you; you had forgotten, there was an end. You look back at the ladder’s two feet on the distant grass, astonished." –Annie Dillard

This is exactly what it sounds like.

Third Contest!

First of all, the winners to last week's contest:

GRAND WINNER

• "I can kill you a thousand different ways. How does that make you feel?" (Robin)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• “Hand me your purse, or I’ll drink this cappuccino right in front of you, and you won’t get a drop!” (Squishy)
• "Soon the whole world will fall to my power and the pants factories will all be closed down and no more will their evil spread through the land" (Nick)
• "You're not dead yet? Wait." (Robin)
• “Tell me where the money is, or I’ll make you go to your orthodontist appointment, and I won’t let you brush first.” (Squishy)
• “The worms will eat your body very slowly, yes.” (Me)

Except I kept my personal best out because I plan to use it.

This week's contest: Bad Hallmark cards.

Example: Sorry for the loss of your loved one. Are you free on Saturday?

evidence

Not adequate, of course, but small evidence that my nieces are amazingly cute. This is Sita, who is now a little over two years old. Sorry if it's a bit grainy; my sister took it with her camera.

I am clearly masochistic

The obvious reasons:

1. I signed up for NaNoWriMo. Again.
   
2. I read Twilight and its sequels in their entirety. You can have at me later, but I must say I found them contrived, unappealing on several levels, and somewhat trite.
3. I ate a Mary Jane.
   

7777777

Tagged by Mrs. G. Yes, seven facts! Yay!

1. I read Twilight and it was... not as bad as I was worried it would be. (I read it to gain my own opinions.)
2. I think Beauty and the Beast is a terribly romantic story, when done right. I also think the Beast should be totally repulsive and/or terrifying, so she really does have to fall in love with him despite the fact she can't stand to look at him.
3. I can eat an entire can (six servings) of cranberry sauce almost within one sitting. I can if it's a kind of a long sitting.
4. I'm beginning to resent the fact that Thanksgiving falls in November. In NaNoWriMo.
5. I find it hard to believe that there are people who don't like babies.
6. When I was five I went to a Lutheran Pre-school. I remember four other students there: Nick, Luke from my old church, Chrystal (the only other girl), and a boy named Timmy. I remember Timmy because he left halfway through the year, and I was sure something bad had happened. I thought the government took him or he died or something. I'm still not sure.
7. I'm out of words. They're gone.

So. Tagging. Nick, Nat, Elle, Anan, Sarah, OFHP. If they want to.

mo' patterns

I decided to look through all the VOGUE PARIS ORIGINAL patterns, namely because of this dominant expression. I think it's hilarious.

So there's this one, which I actually kind of like, minus the flower.

Then you have funny pictures, like the one where the lady is being abducted. I suppose that isn't funny, though. In this one, Ms. Bright Red is about to slap the Mr. because he's making fun of somebody.

They are obviously aliens. Wearing wigs.

Here, Left won't look at Right because she looks like a clown and she doesn't want to laugh.

This seems to have been the inspiration for that one dress in the Narnia movie.

And speaking of fur... this hat on the immediate left is eating the lady's head. And as far as this pattern goes, the dress is nothing special, but the cape! Oh, wow!

expression

Wow. Do you see their faces? They definitely have huge superiority complexes. It's probably the dresses.

And they are burnt to a crisp. Poor things.

New boots

As somebody said, those are some serious boots. (And warm, and dependable for a snowball fight!)

Second contest!

Yay! New contest is to come up with the scariest/creepiest villain phrase/phrase-like thing, and the deadline is next Saturday. Entries should be original, e-mail them to me, send as many as you like.

*sigh* Here's another thing that has to be further explained because NaNoWriMo stole my brain... so a villain phrase, for example, would be "You'll never stop me!" or, "Mwahahaha." or other things they say to unnerve their foes. (I can't think of anything interesting anymore. I just can't.)

Winners from last week's contest:

BEST OPENING LINE WINNER

• It was a murderous day, the day I was killed. (Ethan)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• A curse smothered the whole town. Or was it a curse? But since the boy was a rabbit, and the hog a deer, and the queen a beggar, it was very hard to tell, and only the small girl could figure it out, although she didn’t know that yet. (Juicy)
• A shot rang out in the gun factory; nobody looked up. (Ethan)
• Her face was like that of a beautiful woman, because that's what it was. (Ethan)
• Everyone said that Roger acted like a pig. Even his classmates said he must be the ancestor of a pig, that is, if evolution really happened, but nobody had ever guessed that Roger really was a pig - in disguise. (Juicy)
• In the land where hopefully someday something will go right a greatly scientific thing happened. (Nick)

WORST OPENING LINE WINNER

• Gregory watched the paint on the wall. He watched it slowly dry. (Squishy)

HONORABLE MENTIONS

• This is the true story of my incredibly boring life. (Squishy)
• The kitten lived in a little house with a young girl. The kitten got cream and fish every day and was very contented. (Juicy)
• "Well," she said, wiping the remains of her brother's armadillo pie off her face, "next time we decide to bike to Peru, you had better remember to leave your shoes at home." (Rachel D)
• It was a dark and pleasant night…. (Squishy)
• Once upon a time, as onces are wont to do, there was, as one might say, a person who was not very intelligent, only he wasn't very intelligent in the way that he was an impoverished orphan who had no time to study, or that the government had done terrible experiments on his brain, it was simply that he didn't want to know anything, because of a terrible mix-up when he was a baby that made him think that knowing things brought instantaneous hideousness that would render him an unlovable person by all not possessing a soul, and as the girl he wanted to marry was in fact a statue and it was fairly certain that she had no soul, this boy decided to refrain from learning things ever, and that is how he died, because he never learned to live. (Maggie)
  

Contest!

1. Come up with the *best* opening line. OR
2. Come up with the *worst* opening line.

I'm the judge. I probably won't enter. Unless everything's pitiful. Entries should be original.

[EDIT: You could probably e-mail them to me. I think everybody who would enter has my e-mail address. If not, comment and I'll contact you somehow.]

Lord, in Your infinite mercy, grant Obama wisdom, strength, and all he needs to lead this country in Your will.