Sunday, December 31, 2006

AlphaBetaGamma... oops, too far

That is the root of the word 'alphabet', you know. Alpha Beta. A and B in the Greek alphabet. But now to the interesting part--

Alphabet books are uncreative. “A is for apple, B is for book, C is for….K is for kite…..S is for snake….X is for xelophone, Y is for Yoyo, Z is for the ever so predictable Zebra. So, folks, here is the New and Improved Alphabet

A—Anaconda Angling through the Amazon

B—Big Brass Bassoon with a Big Bronze Bell

C—Cocoanut Covered Creamy Candies Coated in Chocolate (Say it three times fast!)

D—Dumb Dormouse Dashing up to a Dirty Dog

E---Elk and Emu are Endangered Animals [this is to Educate people]

F---Fungi growing by Fronds and Fuchsia

G—Great Gila Monster Grinning

H- Half a Hundred Hairy Hyenas Having a Hunger Strike

I. Ill-mannered Iguana In an Incubator

J—Jackalope Jumping on June 31st Just because it’s Jackalope Hunting Day

K—Kookaburra cackling crazily

L—Leaping Lemurs by a Lighthouse (no matter how improbable)

M—Mushrooms Making Mulch

O—Olives and Okra

P—Poison People

Q—a Queue of Quails

R—A Rattlesnake Rolling by in a Rolls-Royce

S—Santa Singing Christmas Songs

T—Tapir Tramping through the Tropics

U—Ukalele in the Ukraine

V—a Velocipede in the Veranda

W—Wild Walruses and Wallabies and Warthogs are all Warm blooded

X---Xylem in Plants Carrying Water

Y—Yosemite Park where the Youthful Yokels from the Yukon Yak while eating Yorkshire pudding

Z—Zebu playing a Zither in a Zoological garden in Zion

Now, is that not the most interesting alphabet? Plus, any child who reads this will build vocabulary!

This has been the Eccentric M.T. (Maria Times)(yes, that means Maria wrote this whole thing) Email us if you have a good psychiatrist to recommend.

--By Maria

I thought of writing another, but that would breach the copyright thingiebobbers... yeah. Oh, and i'm almost finished with my story, "Bob dies: A Series of Fortunate Events" *hopes M isn't scandelized* *also hopes that's speled correctly* *oh, who cares* *about the speling*

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


You are 65% Lutheran! This is most certainly true.

Well, you might be Lutheran, but there's more to learn. You have room for growth in understanding Lutheran terminology and culture. Hopefully you have a better knowledge of the Bible itself. Good thing Salvation is by Grace and not by merit. We can add nothing to what God has done for us in Christ Jesus. But it never hurts to learn a little more about the church on earth. Thanks for taking the quiz!

How Lutheran Are You?
Create a Quiz

Of course, i think it's very unfair because they kept asking questions about the other synods, and history… okay, so maybe i don't know Martin Luther's birthday. I suppose i'm going down for that? And i'm going to use the excuse of "I'm not very old. I haven't had very many years in Bible Study!", though i think it was more of the trivial things that brought my score down.

But what is the rest of me? Heathen, i suppose. Lol.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Rejoice! Rejoice, for the Lord has worked in my sister!

Well… here comes something i don't say very often - My oldest sister Amanda Pearl (she goes by her middle name only) is an atheist.

However, i just heard my Mom talking on the phone about her, and it sounds like she's closer! A big step! I'm still not ready to say what she's getting over (for lack of a better phrase), but it's the thing that has been stopping her from 'accepting God,' you might call it. I just wait for the day.

Ook, i'm HAPPY!

And Maria's little sister Maureen was born… Tuesday? When was it?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Extremly spacy

How could i have missed it?? It must've been huge… maybe i was reading. Or sewing. No, i didn't do that last Tuesday… poihaps i was having my 'reaction' to the dreaded word… i shall not type it here. However, the reaction is for me to lose control of my fingers (making me type nonsense) and let out a sort of strangled scream. Really strangled, because it isn't that loud. Don't worry, not that many peeple have ever said it in my general vicinity. Only three. To two of you - you know who you are. But i digress.

Did you miss it? The End of the World, that is. It was supposedly going to happen last Tuesday, but i didn't hear about it until today. So the world is gone, and replaced with… what? With the help of a certain fish-like being *cough is that enough recognition Ethan? cough* *cough i even provided spaces! cough*, we figured out it was replaced with chocolate.


Saturday, December 09, 2006

*deep theological discussion*

Help me out peeple! Um… um… Moses! We have to make sure Anna knows she's missing out on one of the greatest blogs ever! She needs to check up on it regularly. THEN she can figure out i'm spacier than she is.

Friday, December 08, 2006

The Nutcracker

Well, i wented to the Nutcracker ballet today… it was really good, though i must admit i appreciated the music more than the dancing. That isn't to say i didn't like it; no, i loved it. But i loved the music slightly more. Well, i guess that makes sense, considering i AM a(n) [insert last name here]. We are vveerryy musical. To put it plainly.
  • My Dad: plays viola, plays & teaches piano (and can play instruments similer to those [harpsicord, organ, violin]), sings tenor or bass (preferably bass) (at least once at Carnagie Hall) (in a choir)
  • My Mom: plays & teaches piano, flute, organ, recorder, directs singers, sings soprano or alto (preferably alto) (also at least once at Carnagie Hall) (in same choir)
  • My oldest sister: plays piano, organ, violin (violin since the age of four or something like that)
  • My other older sister: never really was as musical, but has taken piano, violin, cello (i remember being able to fit in her cello case and zipping it up… i always wondered why there was a zipper on the inside), and has sung in choir
  • My older brother: plays piano, sings bass, once tried trombone (it didn't last long)
  • Me: play piano, organ, violin (though i'm afraid i haven't played in at least a year… i plan to take it back up when i have more time in my schedule), recorder when needed, sing soprano or alto (preferably alto)
  • And we all listen to a veriety music!
And the dancing? Well, it didn't make me want to learn ballet, but then again so far only two things in the world that make me want to dance. Weddings (Naomi & Nick's, Nathan & Katie's), and Singing In The Rain, though that only does it with tap dancing.

So… how 'bout them apples?

Actually, i could rant on, but i kinda need to go practice recorder… and piano… and organ, though i won't because i can't get to church.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Story time!

Ahem - my superior version of 'Farmer & Sons':

Why Bessie Was Butchered
Margaret Rhein

Not so long ago, in Iowa, there lived a sly old farmer, who was stricken with a terrible and incurable illness. Though he wished for his farm to prosper, he was afraid that his somewhat stupid and lazy sons, Clyde, Claud, and Gary Andrew Bartholomew Sean Matthew Lyle, would be careless, as usual, and his beloved cow would die, as she needed only the best hay.
So one day, when he could feel death closing in like the walls of the garbage room in one of the Star Wars movies, he called his sons to his deathbed, and slowly informed them that there was a great treasure in the fields, with diamonds, and emeralds, and more diamonds, and a magic little box with a fabric store inside. Clyde gasped, Claud's eyes widened, and Gary Andrew Bartholomew Sean Matthew Lyle exclaimed that he could finally buy that footstool he wanted. They all asked where the treasure was, but he was resting in peace, knowing that his dim sons would take care of his dear darling Bessie.
Because of their great greed and lack of imagination to think of activities, the sons dug all day and night, except for a little time in which they ate and slept, of course. When the land was all dug up, and the frustrated boys found no treasure, they complained greatly to their mother, who had planted seeds in the "tilled" ground, so as not to starve. She explained that their cruel father had tricked them into working, and that the so-called "treasure" was the fruit of their labor.
Of course, the accidental plowing yielded a good amount of crops that year, but the sons ate the berries from behind the shed, and died. The mother sadly butchered old Bessie, sold the meat, and, because she had demanded an unfair price, lived happily ever after.
The End
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