Sunday, December 31, 2006

AlphaBetaGamma... oops, too far

That is the root of the word 'alphabet', you know. Alpha Beta. A and B in the Greek alphabet. But now to the interesting part--

Alphabet books are uncreative. “A is for apple, B is for book, C is for….K is for kite…..S is for snake….X is for xelophone, Y is for Yoyo, Z is for the ever so predictable Zebra. So, folks, here is the New and Improved Alphabet

A—Anaconda Angling through the Amazon

B—Big Brass Bassoon with a Big Bronze Bell

C—Cocoanut Covered Creamy Candies Coated in Chocolate (Say it three times fast!)

D—Dumb Dormouse Dashing up to a Dirty Dog

E---Elk and Emu are Endangered Animals [this is to Educate people]

F---Fungi growing by Fronds and Fuchsia

G—Great Gila Monster Grinning

H- Half a Hundred Hairy Hyenas Having a Hunger Strike

I. Ill-mannered Iguana In an Incubator

J—Jackalope Jumping on June 31st Just because it’s Jackalope Hunting Day

K—Kookaburra cackling crazily

L—Leaping Lemurs by a Lighthouse (no matter how improbable)

M—Mushrooms Making Mulch

O—Olives and Okra

P—Poison People

Q—a Queue of Quails

R—A Rattlesnake Rolling by in a Rolls-Royce

S—Santa Singing Christmas Songs

T—Tapir Tramping through the Tropics

U—Ukalele in the Ukraine

V—a Velocipede in the Veranda

W—Wild Walruses and Wallabies and Warthogs are all Warm blooded

X---Xylem in Plants Carrying Water

Y—Yosemite Park where the Youthful Yokels from the Yukon Yak while eating Yorkshire pudding

Z—Zebu playing a Zither in a Zoological garden in Zion

Now, is that not the most interesting alphabet? Plus, any child who reads this will build vocabulary!

This has been the Eccentric M.T. (Maria Times)(yes, that means Maria wrote this whole thing) Email us if you have a good psychiatrist to recommend.

--By Maria

I thought of writing another, but that would breach the copyright thingiebobbers... yeah. Oh, and i'm almost finished with my story, "Bob dies: A Series of Fortunate Events" *hopes M isn't scandelized* *also hopes that's speled correctly* *oh, who cares* *about the speling*


  1. Glad you think i am witty. I just have read too many mediocre alphabet books.