Saturday, September 16, 2006

Warning: This post has a high Shakespearean insult content

Thy food is such as hath been belch'd upon by infected lungs.

The most infectious pestilence upon thee!

Infirm of purpose!

Get thee to a nunnery.

You should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.

Thou art only mark'd for hot vengeance and the rod of heaven.

Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!

Thou art the best o' th' cut-throats.

Sell your face for five pence and 'tis dear.

You shall stifle in your own report, and smell of calumny.

Thou impertinent hedge-born coxcomb!

If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make the diseases.

Thy head stands so tickle on thy shoulders, that a milkmaid, if she be in love, may sigh it off.

Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat in respect of a good piece of flesh indeed!

You yourself, sir, shall grow old as I am if like a crab you could go backward.

[Your] brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage.

[Thou] stale old mouse eaten dry cheese!

[Thou art] a man of wax.

[Thou art] like the toad, ugly and venomous.

[Thine] face is not worth sunburning.

Come, you are a tedious fool. To the purpose.

2 comments:

  1. Wow! i've never seen so many Shakespearean insults in one place in a row!
    Have you ever read any of his Noble Works? I've read two of `em, last year, and saw MacBeth, which i didn't understand because they talked way to fast. (I read Shakespeare veeeeeery sloooooly.) I still kinda liked going just for the costumes, music and props. It was an all-girl cast too. Shakespeare would be horrified! (On the account in HIS day it was all BOYS!)

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  2. those were AWESOME!! D'you mind if I use them? I love those so much ^_^ hehe.
    I got a bunch of books recently and Iwanted to get some shakespeare but I couldn't... my mom said no, not yet. I wanted to know why but oh well.

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