This is Maggie's ancient, mostly dead (but still slightly alive!) blog. Peruse the archives at your own risk; they contain more than a little teenage nonsense.
*Bob pulls a Sherlock Holmes, climbs back up cliff in cheap ending from next book, grabs pipes from Stupid who made them sound like a duck being skinned, flays skin from Stupid, dresses in full Scottish regailia, plays pipes in beautiful, heart-sting plucking way that brings tears to all slinky mourners present at cliff, kicks Stupid's flesh off of cliff, it dies as does all of Stupid's being, Bob plays long and hard, sending those present into full-fledged sobbs for poor slinky, screams, wails, cries, gives speach, mourns for slinky. poor slinky.
*Ethan pulls a Superman, comes back as android, pushes idiot Bob (who doesn't realize his bagpipe playing is what makes people cry) inot a rift in the SpaceTime Continuum, plays softly*
*Bob gets Dr Phill, makes him babbel his useles mumbles at Stupid.* *while Stupid is occupied with "dawkter feeyawly" Bob leaps out of the space time continuem just in time, makes Stupid assassinateable kills Stupid utterly and forever, personaly comforts all mourners, plays bagpipes like Steve Saint, makes even dead, tearless slinky cry from the sheer beauty of it, makes sure Stupid is dead once more and will not return again in any way, shape or form, then goes off to comfort slinky mourners again.*
stupid Stupid, who is dead, DED, D-E-A-D, never to return. dead.
did you people hear that! he thinks we shoul simply forget slinky! why not dance on his grave while you're at it! the memory of one of those annoying things that hangs around your room forever is not something ot be taken lightly. you sick person. and bob never returned, you threw his double from magic show and Bob lives! oh, and one more thing, YOU, are Stupid (enter dramatic, revealing music from Bob's bagpipes, which he plays better than the Ugly One.)
my slinky's a little anti-social, just hangs around in his box under my bed, but maybe he could be coxed out for a wedding. (wedding, I love weddings! drinks all around!) and one more thing, next time you think the slinky may not be dead, stab him a few times so we wont kill Ethan for no reson and comfort false mourners! humbug!
Don't worry, my slinky is already taken. It's a long distance relationship, and m (not The Em) will have a bit more time to practice her wedding march.
Dun dun du-dun, dundun dun dundun dun dun.....
ReplyDelete*Gets out bagpipes*
ReplyDelete*bob steals bagpipes from beginer, whines funeral march
ReplyDelete*Steals bagpipes from annoying whiny Bob, pushes Bob off a cliff, and plays proudly and mourns for slinky*
ReplyDelete*Bob pulls a Sherlock Holmes, climbs back up cliff in cheap ending from next book, grabs pipes from Stupid who made them sound like a duck being skinned, flays skin from Stupid, dresses in full Scottish regailia, plays pipes in beautiful, heart-sting plucking way that brings tears to all slinky mourners present at cliff, kicks Stupid's flesh off of cliff, it dies as does all of Stupid's being, Bob plays long and hard, sending those present into full-fledged sobbs for poor slinky, screams, wails, cries, gives speach, mourns for slinky. poor slinky.
ReplyDelete*sob*
ReplyDelete*Ethan pulls a Superman, comes back as android, pushes idiot Bob (who doesn't realize his bagpipe playing is what makes people cry) inot a rift in the SpaceTime Continuum, plays softly*
ReplyDelete*Comforts Emily*
*Mourns for slinky*
*Bob gets Dr Phill, makes him babbel his useles mumbles at Stupid.*
ReplyDelete*while Stupid is occupied with "dawkter feeyawly" Bob leaps out of the space time continuem just in time, makes Stupid assassinateable kills Stupid utterly and forever, personaly comforts all mourners, plays bagpipes like Steve Saint, makes even dead, tearless slinky cry from the sheer beauty of it, makes sure Stupid is dead once more and will not return again in any way, shape or form, then goes off to comfort slinky mourners again.*
stupid Stupid, who is dead, DED, D-E-A-D, never to return. dead.
1. Ethan doesn't know who Stupid is.
ReplyDelete2. No one except for Aaron and Agent Delta can return from the Space-Time Continuum. Sorry.
3. That makes all the things that Bob supposedly did LIES. All LIES.
4. I think we have mourned slinky long enough. It is unfortunate, but we must get on with our lives.
Poor slinky.
Galileo!
did you people hear that! he thinks we shoul simply forget slinky! why not dance on his grave while you're at it! the memory of one of those annoying things that hangs around your room forever is not something ot be taken lightly. you sick person. and bob never returned, you threw his double from magic show and Bob lives!
ReplyDeleteoh, and one more thing, YOU, are Stupid (enter dramatic, revealing music from Bob's bagpipes, which he plays better than the Ugly One.)
Galileo!
*coughiwaswrongtheslinkywasn'tdead, justinacomacough*
ReplyDeleteGalileo!
We have already established that Bob is a liar, and therefore everything Bob said in the previous post is a lie.
ReplyDeleteWhat? We've been mornign over a slinky that was IN A BLOODY COMA?
ReplyDeleteI am annoyed and disilusioned.
my slinky's a little anti-social, just hangs around in his box under my bed, but maybe he could be coxed out for a wedding. (wedding, I love weddings! drinks all around!)
ReplyDeleteand one more thing, next time you think the slinky may not be dead, stab him a few times so we wont kill Ethan for no reson and comfort false mourners! humbug!
Galileo!
But why's the rum gone!?!?!
ReplyDelete*pretends she knew the slinky was only a coma*
Why's the rum always gone?
ReplyDeleteOh, that's why.
*remembers Emily sobbing, doesn't beleive her* :-P
Bob's slinky is not a suitable, well, anything. It bites people and it's not housebroken. DOn't even think about it.
Don't worry, my slinky is already taken. It's a long distance relationship, and m (not The Em) will have a bit more time to practice her wedding march.
ReplyDelete*Stefan cries* He hates bag-pipes! *pokes hole in bag* Ha!
ReplyDelete*Bob serenades stefan with pipes, angry at unappreciation*
ReplyDeleteHow could you be angry at a cute wittle baby like Stefan (Paul David)?
ReplyDeletebecause everyone should love pipes, and if they don't then they should learn
ReplyDeleteWell he cries at almost everything so maybe I miss-interpreted what he was trying to tell me. He could have liked them after all.
ReplyDeletehey, kind of like Bob's brother! maybe he doesn't deserve quarentine after all.
ReplyDeleteMost likely not.
ReplyDelete