Sunday, April 22, 2012

This would be a perfect time to use my habitual song-lyrics-that-hardly-relate, but I got nothing.

I miss Little Women. Objectively it might not be my favorite show (in writing or music) but there is something about being in a musical, even with just a small part. Something in the combination of story and music and people you are kind of forced to be friends with (because, short of knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll, surviving wet tech together is pretty much the best way to forge a bond).

Then, last night (at the Earl Awards, Bethel's theatre award ceremony), I missed having the nerve to just sit next to some of those people because we were working together or because we had a joke that made no sense or because we were too tired to care. Now it's just those people I did stuff with once. I don't know. It feels awkward now, and I don't know if that's just me.

Anyway, it's now one of my life-goals to be in a musical with actual friends.


  1. "I missed having the nerve to just sit next to some of those people...." Oh, Maggie! Me too!! I may have enjoyed some time with a group of people, might have some sort of a bond with them, but I still don't want to infringe on their space because, surely, they wouldn't want to be hanging out with me. I can so totally see what you're saying about being in those intense experiences with people you love and will continue to love and be with.

  2. :) Totally agree Maggie. We need to both audition for a musical somewhere together! :)

  3. Yeah...I'd probably have done the same. I often feel that people put up with me because I'm THERE, but outside of that circumstance, they're too cool for me. It does not help that former classmates when they pass me in the hall or whatever don't even say "hi." They do the frozen-face thing. I am crippling shy. Or just unpopular? Taylor Swift song: "I used to think my place was a spot next you/now I'm searching the room for an empty seat/cuz lately I don't know what page you're on." NAILED IT! Outside of the original circumstances, I often do not know how much or how people what to interact with me.

  4. Huh! Maybe this is a Universal Truth and the mice (I mean, classmates) are more afraid of me than I am of them.

  5. Definitely a Universal Truth.
    I think people are a lot more willing to interact with me than I believe. But I'm not always sure, even with people who have been my friends/acquaintances for a while, if they actually want to spend time with me at all, or if they're just being polite.
    This may be because my best way of making friends is to FORCE people to spend time with me. Knock them over the head and drag them back to my cave. So I'm always wondering if they actually want to spend time with me, or are just groggy from being knocked out.