Friday, April 23, 2010

I like the kind of e-mails I sometimes get in my Bethel account.

A squirrel trap with a squirrel in it was stolen from outside the library between 12:00pm and 1:30pm this afternoon, Thursday, April 22, 2010. I would appreciate any information on this theft. The person who took the squirrel should also be aware that the squirrel may have sarcoptic mange, a disease which is contagious to humans. I would appreciate it if the squirrel is 1) released unharmed, and 2) that my trap is returned undamaged. Also, the individual should know that only those with a scientific purposes license are allowed to trap and handled squirrels, and thus, they are in violation of Indiana state law. Stealing the trap also was illegal. If the trap is damaged in any way, that is vandalism, which is also illegal. If anyone has information or saw who committed these crimes, please let me know as soon as possible.

The individual should also know that I do have a PhD in wildlife ecology and management, and I do know what I am doing, and that the squirrel was not going to be harmed.

Really? We're down to stealing squirrels?


  1. I can't stop laughing


    oh college

    oh universe

  2. LOL!

    Why do I suspect that the culprit was some Earth-friendly tree-hugging squirrel-rescuer who was doing his-or-her Earth Day Duty?

  3. I am laughing so hard! SAVE THE SQUIRRELS, GUYS!

  4. Goooood Night! My suspicions turn the same way as Susan's....

    But that sounds somehow like Nicholai wrote it...

  5. Nat, once again you win at being witty.

    Also, to be entirely honest, I would so steal a squirrel.

  6. This is the coolest thing of the hour. Maybe of the evening.

  7. ...every time I come back and read this, it makes me laugh again. I take back my previous comment. This is the most win thing of the decade.