I like the kind of e-mails I sometimes get in my Bethel account.

A squirrel trap with a squirrel in it was stolen from outside the library between 12:00pm and 1:30pm this afternoon, Thursday, April 22, 2010. I would appreciate any information on this theft. The person who took the squirrel should also be aware that the squirrel may have sarcoptic mange, a disease which is contagious to humans. I would appreciate it if the squirrel is 1) released unharmed, and 2) that my trap is returned undamaged. Also, the individual should know that only those with a scientific purposes license are allowed to trap and handled squirrels, and thus, they are in violation of Indiana state law. Stealing the trap also was illegal. If the trap is damaged in any way, that is vandalism, which is also illegal. If anyone has information or saw who committed these crimes, please let me know as soon as possible.

The individual should also know that I do have a PhD in wildlife ecology and management, and I do know what I am doing, and that the squirrel was not going to be harmed.

Really? We're down to stealing squirrels?

Okay, okay, so I can't keep up a lie. I can accept that.

April Fool, my darlings. The video thing was true, the tinily worded bit was not.

I spoke too soon.

My OT Lit teacher does, in fact, know about Holy Week. At the end of our class on Wednesday, after studying Isaiah, he played us two videos.

The first was a collection of clips from The Passion of the Christ accompanied by Amazing Grace sung in the heavily stylistic, jazz-inspired way that is so dear to Bethelites. The second was O Sacred Head, Now Wounded in the same style, for which I may never forgive them. Afterward several of my classmates and my teacher were crying. It was really awkward and painful.

Speaking of awkward and painful... a certain... pink-hatted fellow I knew slightly asked me out the other day. I didn't mention it to anyone, but I figured I'd have to sometime.