Angiol mio caro, non mi lasciar.

Before anything else: Sita had surgery yesterday for her urinary reflux problem. Minor surgery, but general anesthesia. Everything went well but she still has to wear a catheter until tomorrow morning.

Okay, anyway.
Performing makes me think existentially. (At least, I think it's existentialism I mean. If not, whoops. I'm too lazy to check.) In Little Women, for instance, it always struck me in the middle of Weekly Volcano Press, when I'm looking at Becki, singing a story, pretending I'm in my forties and I own a boarding house and she's the daughter of my friend and the governess of my daughters and she's talking, not singing, and meanwhile a bunch of other people are playing the characters in her story; not just a fair maiden and an evil aristocrat and a tired knight and all, but a hag and a troll and a swamp. (Yes, a swamp.) I have to pretend that they are what I see and hear in my head as I watch Becki and listen to her telling the story. Add the mics and costumes and make-up and lights and set and props and dialects and the way we never turn our backs to the audience, and suddenly all I can think is, "This is ridiculous. Why do humans respond to this?"

But today in performance class I sang Il Sospiro, and even though it's in Italian (which I do not speak) and tells a completely fictional story, my thoughts were more along the lines of "I am sharing this because it is beautiful music, and singing it to the audience is more personal than pulling up a YouTube of it, even if the YouTube wouldn't shake so much."

And that is why I am not a theatre major; I may know it's amazing and everything, but when it frightens me, I abandon that thought.

This was written up very quickly between classes. Let's hope I said everything the way I meant, because I'm (again) too lazy to do any more work on it.

Wait.

I was gonna say something. Um.

I dreamed Vati turned evil (like Hitler, despite his well-known case of disagreeing with Hitler) and took over HT and the next conference was obligatory (mandatory? wait, I can't decide) and oppressive and dystopic and everything was wrong, and some MHers and I had to take it down from the inside like the D. A.

Diligence: a fate I would hate.

Firstly and most importantly: Sam(my(-Wammy( the Lamby))) is adorable. (And healthy.) I will even take a picture from facebook to prove it:

Awwwwwwwwww. Little newborns and their silly faces.
He was born opening night of Camelot.

Speaking! of shows and whatnot! I got a part in Bethel's spring musical, Little Women. I = Mrs. Kirk. I have lines, guys. And, like, my own part in a duet or trio or something. Maybe. Actually maybe it's me and Professor Bhaer on on part and Jo on the other... oh, well, anyway, I'm excited. Hopefully I'll come back to this thing (blog) after rehearsals start and let you know what my part actually is. I read the script, but I didn't retain a whole lot. :P

Ummmmmmmmm. So it's cold and stuff.

In the not-wackily-happy section, I'm bored. D:

Today's thoughts.

Jesus came off my crucifix. It seems like less of a statement now.

There's something I really like about the image of a fiery windmill.

I miss my sandwich.

Nat was looking for a bottle of cologne that had been one of his wedding presents. I had an urge to call it and just follow the ringing to find it.

I don't think I will ever not wear this petticoat again. It's the best thing since blue.

IT IS SO HOT HERE.

I didn't realize when I auditioned how much innuendo is in Camelot. Oops...

I made my blog private so I could complain about Bethel without any of them seeing, but it occurs to me that probably no one cares.

I'm cleaning! ... my e-mail inbox. I'm doing well, though. I got it from the 1800's yesterdayish to the 1400's todayish.

Coram Deo--Illinois was probably the biggest the Emmaus youth group has ever been, and I'm the only one in it who also went to Dare to be Lutheran--St. Louis in 2005. I feel SO OLD, guys.

My alarm clock does not understand "off."

I Will Go, I Will Go (Scottish folk), Il Sospiro (Donizetti), and If I Can't Love Her (Beauty and the Beast) make an interesting combination to be stuck in my head.

31 years together. Yayyyyy parents.

I keep adding more thoughts to this in the hopes that I'll remember the third one I actually planned. I think it may be gone forever.

Seriously, though, it was a great sandwich.

Yo Ho Ho and a bowl of ice cream.

When the dishes are all dirty and I need a spoon and I open the dishwasher and see it's full of clean dishes, it's like finding treasure.

That's how mundane my life is at the moment.

Oh, YouTube.

Free your egg.

What.

Yes, but what about self-defense?

HP7.II movie

So I just saw the most recent Harry Potter movie. I won't spoil it, but if you want to be 100% surprised (id est, not even know my reaction), don't read on.
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Parts of it: I loved. I clapped; I squealed; I got teary-eyed, which is really saying something.

The majority, and overall: I am furious. I want to punch faces.

Who else has seen it?